A journey that includes Form and the Formless…
When there are mass shootings such as with the most recent AME church shooting in Charleston, or other shocking incidents that so strongly impact our collective existence, we along with so many, may reflect on our response-ability within the human family. We are affected by what happens to someone else because everything/everyone is connected. A basic premise that will weave itself throughout this offered response is: We are One. To build on this theme of Oneness and our part in it all, it may be helpful to give a more global perspective before narrowing the focus.
For the purpose of clarity and inclusion, I will use Eckhart Tolle’s word Form to reference the physical world and all it encompasses: our body, our possessions, all that takes form and shape in this world, our thoughts, beliefs, perceptions – all of which are unconscious in their very nature. Tolle’s use of Formlessness (i.e the Formless) encapsulates all that is non-form: Spirit, Divine, Source, Presence, Consciousness, etc. There are many names for the mystery of Formlessness and I reference them broadly here. (Source: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle)
It is in consideration of Form and Formlessness, that I offer the following response toward shocking events such as the mass shooting: Having originated from Formlessness, we lose our sense of connection with ourselves and the Formless when we come into a physical body (Form) where we experience woundings in varying degrees that impact our physical, emotional and spiritual experiences in life. It’s as if, with our woundings, a veil is dropped over us and we become attached to the veil. Living under the veil, we may struggle at times to experience the Formless within us because what we see and feel is the veil (i.e. Form). Finding our way back home (to ourselves and to the Formless) may eventually become our most important venture later in life as we come to the realization that our behaviors, thoughts, and perceptions reflect the woundings that happened to us (i.e. Form). And, as we acknowledge and release their negative and unconscious power over us, we may more clearly experience the Formless and its expression within us because we are removing the veil.
By design, our woundings occur in relationship – and our woundings are healed in relationship. The wounding themes that we carry within us tend to continue over and over throughout life until we consciously choose to identify and acknowledge these repeated themes so that they begin to lose their power. Have you experienced a certain dynamic in one relationship that is repeated in the next relationship? These themed patterns are held in our unconscious until the time we are ready to look at them – deeply. They are full of consistency and innate integrity, and their underlying purpose is to serve our highest good by guiding us to be in full relationship with ourselves and Formlessness. This means that our wounding themes possess a natural truthfulness and inborn sincerity in their commitment to our healing. Our woundings are the Formless stirrings within us that are inextinguishable as a guiding light that points us home. And home is where we belong in full relationship with ourselves and the Formless. Another way of saying this is that the Formless is in constant search of us. As the Sufi poet, Rumi, articulates: “the wound is the Light where the healing enters.” For example, if one’s wounding imprint includes a belief of I don’t belong – or I don’t matter, these themes will likely show up in this person’s life over and over until he takes a look at how these beliefs do not serve him, and is open to another way.
Because of our wounding imprints, we may struggle to view ourselves with softer eyes of compassion. If, from an early time in our life, we identified with early beliefs, such as I am bad – or I am wrong, we may view ourselves with judgment because of the wounding imprint. From that time on, judgment becomes the lens through which we see life because that is our perception of our experience in life. When we believe we deserve judgment, having compassion for ourselves may feel impossible. So, with each new day, our intention may be that seeds of compassion take root within us. As we begin to experience compassion for the parts of ourselves that experienced the wounding imprints, we literally create space inside of us for the Formless stirrings, expression, and connection. As compassion for ourselves increases, there may be additional openings of space created within us for practicing compassion for others who carry their own set of wounding imprints.
Our tendency may be to swallow our feelings in an effort to protect ourselves or protect someone else. As a result, there is the potential that our feelings of glad, mad, sad, and afraid may not get expressed or released adequately, but may stay dormant, fester and wreak havoc within us. Our feelings are given to us by Formless design to unlock and release the wounding imprints that separate us from being in full relationship with ourselves and the Formless. As we recognize and acknowledge that as a society and individuals, we tend to internalize our feelings in ways that may hurt us overtime, we lay the stage for creating positive change. Here is another opportunity for us to offer softer eyes of compassion in light of what may be our ongoing struggle to feel the feelings inside of us that are innately gifted to us. If we begin to name and track our feelings inside of us, and create safe space for expressing them, we may experience the healing that is ours. For healthy expression, it’s not about dumping our feelings onto others, but about expressing our feelings in a safely contained way. Journaling is one such way to express and release feelings; drawing is another one. And it may be important to enlist the support of a licensed professional if needed.
At times, the wounding imprints leave incredibly devastating results as in the AME church shooting. I can only assume that the shooter had a lot of negative feelings stored deep inside of him in order to have this deadly outcome, and that he hadn’t found a safe way to release the negativity within him. Those who lost their loved ones that day, likely carry within them layers of shock and confusing emotions that may feel overwhelming for a very long time. For those of us on the periphery, the shooting may also trigger negative feelings within us. To the degree that we are collectively impacted, common threads may weave their path to connect us as One. Those threads are the wounding imprints that are revealed in the early beliefs we may carry within us as we journey through life: I am bad, I am wrong, I don’t matter, I don’t belong, I shouldn’t be here, I’ll die, etc. Times like this may prompt us as individuals to consider more deeply our response within the extended human family. Acknowledging the formless stirrings within us that come to us by way of wounding imprints and early beliefs, may be part of that healing journey. As we identify these stirrings within us and their associated feelings, we may gain a deeper connection with Formlessness and ourselves. Compassion, above all else, may be the intention we hold for ourselves such that it becomes our ultimate response. It is a journey worth traveling as we return into full relationship with ourselves and all that is non-form.
Special gratitude is given to my mentors, Arrow De Groot, CC, PPN and William Emerson, Ph.D. for their teachings that target the healing properties that are delicately wrapped in our early beliefs mentioned above.
Jules Steffen, LMHC, CHT, PPN 