In this photo, sprinkles of light filter through the above image and I’ve decided to let them just be given the reflective nature and message of this particular writing.
Stringing lights for the holiday season may likely be a shared experience that unveils a sense of joy within us, reminiscent of an earlier time that may not have felt so laden with the heavy intonations of living life from our wounded perspectives. A child’s eyes are widened with wonder as he is captivated by the twinkles of light that adorn the tree or mantle. One part of him is drawn toward the stringed lights for reasons of which he is unaware, but another part of him moves toward the mystery with resonating memory.
Given that our wounding imprints occur during our earliest experiences in the prenatal/perinatal realms, our attachment and identification with our wounding imprints are ever so empowered because they happened to us when we had little-to-no defenses to protect ourselves. And yet, as a baby/child, we are closer in proximity to the actual wounding events that occurred during our prenatal/perinatal life such that their resulting sting is indelibly less in a very specific context.
What is the specific context? When a core (meaning the first) wounding event occurs early on in our existence, our little systems go into overwhelm because the event is so shocking to our primitive systems and we can’t defend/protect ourselves. In essence, we actually leave ourselves because of the overwhelm. We cannot stay with ourselves given the overriding force of the shocking event. Within these terrifying moments, we make meaning about ourselves because we attach and identify with the wounding event. What we make it mean about ourselves is negative because of the attachment and identification process, unrelenting in its very nature. In other words, in these moments of attachment and identification, we forget who we are. In the aftermath of the wounding, our distorted thinking creates further separation from ourselves.
As we age thru the various stages of development and become an adult, the wounding imprints strengthen because we continue to thematically repeat what happened to us given our attachment/identification with our wounding. We may likely believe these repetitions in life offer the necessary proof that our negative beliefs about ourselves are accurate (e.g. I am bad; I am wrong; I shouldn’t be here, etc.), but our distorted thinking sends us deeper into the rabbit hole of increased separation from ourselves.
The accurate truth is unveiled when we realize these repetitions, known as recapitulations, are dynamically and sagely designed to support us in remembering who we really are. There is a part of us that is attached to the wounding imprint, thus keeping us imprisoned within its tenacious grasp, while another part of us is not attached to the wounding imprint, seeking only release and healing. It’s the latter part of us that is deeply connected to who we really are.
It’s not an accident that we are drawn toward the string of lights. It’s the deeper part of us remembering these twinkles of light are a reflection of who we really are.
Jules Steffen, LMHC, CHT, PPN 