Moraine Lake is a glacially-fed lake in Banff National Park, 8.7 miles outside the Village of Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada. It is held in the Valley of the Ten Peaks, at an elevation approximately 6,183 feet. The lake’s surface includes 120 acres.
When we grow up in families feeling as if we may not fully belong, we may later awaken to the reality that this seemingly-ever-present hole inside of us can’t be filled by any possession or any one person. We may spend most of our life trying to fill the hole within us when we don’t have a clue how to fill it. We may continue to look outside of ourselves for the answer that will satiate the thirst we feel, but everything external runs pale in our efforts to find the very gem for which we desperately search.
At times, we may find ourselves comparing our life situation with someone else’s in an effort to answer some probing question about why we are facing certain life challenges. What we may not realize is that each of us is on an individualized path that cannot be duplicated in/for anyone else. The specific woundings that happened to us as we came into a body are uniquely imprinted deep within us and pave a unique path for our healing. We move farther away from clarity and conscious living when we compare ourselves with others. Comparing ourselves with another person or set of people is an unfortunate and unrelenting set up to continue what may be a life-long journey of berating and minimizing ourself. This trajectory of self doom does not serve us in any good way and it serves no healing purpose.
We may continue to believe that by over-investing ourselves in other people and/or capitalizing on the power of possessions will eventually contain and securely hold what may seem like a deep running river within us. And yet, we may realize over time that this flowing river within us doesn’t cease, but is lost to us because it quickly flows from our tightened grasp. Whether it be a raging river, a trickle of a stream given the difficult struggles of living, or some other descriptor, it’s our wounding that drives us until we take responsibility to shift it.
To illustrate this further, our life can be likened to a water pitcher where its purpose is to hold and serve water. When our wounding themes are driving us, we may likely seek people and things to fill our water pitcher, depending on everything external to gather/hold the water, negating our own responsibility to find a way to seal the hole in the bottom of the pitcher.
Another way of saying this is that our wounding themes are likened to the water leak that flows from the gaping hole at the bottom of the pitcher. It’s our responsibility to take hold of our own individual pitcher such that we can begin to trace back to the wounding imprints that created the gaping hole. It’s this hole which magnifies our lost sense of self which includes our sense of belonging. Nobody else can do it for us. No particular thing can save us from doing our healing work. We can’t do it for each other; we can only do it for ourselves. Once we begin to realize that it’s our wounding themes that stand in our way of living authentic and conscious lives, we may be motivated to begin the healing journey that is meant for us. One of the tasks before us may likely be to discover how to stay our water within us. Blessings for the journey.
Jules Steffen, LMHC, CHT, PPN 